It's so disgusting outside. Somewhere between rain and snow topped with freezing gusts of wind. On the plus side I can sit inside and do nothing and not feel all that bad about it.

However, doing nothing is not really something a student teacher should be doing. I should be lesson planning and all that good stuff BUT I just so happen to be in the most boring placement ever! Special educators don't teach necessarily, they support! And I'm in inclusive so it's not even a resource room where I can work one on one with students. This wouldn't be a problem if the general ed teacher did any sort of differentiating, but she spends most of her day on the overhead, screaming, and redirecting the students who are so bored or just not getting the information that they talk and don't care about what's going on whatsoever. I just can't stand this compared to what I came from where my host teacher was all about interaction and learning by doing. Even today, the students were getting really into asking questions about the government and election during social studies but we were doing a "packet" and didn't have time to get "off-topic" - exactly the way the teacher put it. I was so appalled. I spent the entire 30 minutes that they did a boring packet sitting there going we could divide the class into three branches of government, have a mock election, create "class laws". How much better and more memorable and interactive would that be??? Especially in a classroom where 7 students are identified with speech/language delays of some sort and where all of the students are reading at LEAST 2 grades below level.

If I don't get to teach something my way soon I will go crazy in this classroom. I'm as bored as the students.

Now I'm going to make some tarte flambee for my man and maybe watch a scary movie or two, cause I don't have enough trouble falling asleep in this creaky house.

I know I'm constantly back and forth on this thing. I don't balance time well but I really do want to make an effort to write in this more. Anyway, after a wonderful first placement in first grade with an amazing host teacher, I've moved on to the Syracuse City School District where I'm teaching fifth grade special education. It's a big change and I can't really judge how I feel about it yet, but surprisingly enough I'm finding that the students are still welcoming and a lot of fun, even if they aren't the babies. I do still miss my little ones, though. I really felt like a part of that classroom.

On the other hand, as first year off campus, I think we're handling things well, considering there were some rough times at the beginning. I'm broke already just by buying apartment things and stuff like that.

I went apple picking last weekend and made 2 apple pies already and I'm no where near done with the apples. I need to start eating an apple a day.


We went downtown for the first time last night now that everyone in the group is legal. It was so much fun! And so easy because of the warehouse bus...The guy even dropped us off right in Armory Square.

So far my day has been really productive; laundry and now I'm going to go get some stuff for Halloween costumes...even though I have no money. Anyway, I will try to stay more on top of updating this thing so all these events are more detailed instead of the lame way I just wrote about them.

It's supposed to snow tomorrow!

The more and more that I agree with and empathize with my father I realize how old I am becoming. The joy is that means I won't completely become my mother.

I'm beginning to think that I might be slightly materialistic. And by slightly I mean, ridiculously. I am really unhappy when I don't have money that I can spend on myself...for example the current broke situation that I'm in right now. I literally am desperate for work. But only so I can make money and buy things for me. Not really any other reason. I can't help but think though, why do people work anyway? Sure to pay bills but those bills come from buying things that you want. Except for taxes I guess, but don't get me started on taxes.

I'm embarking on a new selfless mission to make myself a better person. Which is, in itself slightly selfish. Quel paradoxe!

What should my first step be? I already bought a large fossil canvas bag that screams recycle which I planned on bringing with me to stores and saving plastic trees, but I always forget it. But it's so cute.

Yea, I seriously have a problem. Is class over yet?

"You get a strange feeling when you're about to leave a place. Like you'll not only miss the people you love but you'll miss the person you are now at this time and this place, because you'll never be this way again."

I couldn't say it any better. maybe i should finish packing, my flight is in less than 4 hours. Thanks Strasbourg, you were a good home.

"Catie, I will only go to the cafe with you if you promise to get decaf." -
that told me that I should probably control myself.

AHH so much to do this week.

I smell like pancakes.

Given the chance, I would do it all differently. This isn't a regrettable experience; it's a learning one.

I just tried to make chocolate mousse for family night aka tonight aka to feed to all of the host families in Strasbourg, and I'm really scared. I don't know at all if I made it right. It looks decent, but what if I make everyone sick? I mean, it's just made with raw eggs and sugar and chocolate. There's a great possibility. I wish host mommy would get home and give me some advice.

Maybe I'll just buy something and force this one down the throats of my own host family. After all, what is family for??

( A Guide to the French. Handle with Care. )

Some of the things aren't quite right like "never say bon appetit at the start of a meal"??? Are you kidding me people say that even when I leave the grocery store, anticipating that I'm going to eat all that yummy food. Maybe it's a Parisian thing though, because they are different. And I say "toilette" cause "w.c." or "salle de bain" is stupid. So there.

IT WAS THE FIRST BEAUTIFUL DAY IN STRASBOURG IN FOREVER! Wore a light jacket, took a stroll, bought a new book, ate some nutella, took an outside table and drank with friends for happy hour, laughed with mia famiglia, going out with my new friends who have managed to feel like best friends in a matter of months.


Welcome to the good life.

i just walked home in the freezing cold/rain cause i missed the last tram home. it was a long walk. but here i am. two things strange today:

1. i put in the 80 euro centimes that the soda machine asks for and requested a fanta. i got my fanta, 10 centimes in return, and a diet coke. that's right! TWO SODAS for the price of less than one. i paid it foward by giving the diet coke to akiko as a random act of kindness. i guess it didnt work...

2. host mom exploded an eggplant during dinner.


c'est tout.


goodnight - lyon tomorrow

I'm a junior and I hate my major. Can anyone say super senior?

Worst part is, I have no idea what I would do. My mom suggests drugs.

i don't feel like talking about the stupid boy and what's going on there, so i'm just going to post pictures from this weekend.
( martha's vineyard trip )

it's unbelieveable how much i improved in one year only to in the exact same month be put right back where i started. UNBELIEVEABLE. i'm so mad at myself.

I think I've decided that from here on out my journal will be friends only. Most of my entries are friends only anyway, so this only makes sense. Just to let you know.

Are actions from someone's past indicative of how they will act in the future?
Do people learn from their mistakes?
Do people change?
And if they change, is change always a positive thing? Is change equivalent to personal growth?
Is it possible for someone to start over?
How important is it to a relationship to know about someone's past? How much information is too much information?
Is it all just a matter of personal opinion? And if so, then what's the point of even asking these questions??? AND HOW DO YOU FIND OUT THE ANSWERS???!
Personally, trial and error doesn't sound like such an appealing method. I've trialed. And I've errored. Not so much fun. Sometimes I really think it's easier to just never know at all...is it too early to throw in the towel? I'm so afraid of something that hasn't even happened yet. I guess that answers a few of my questions though. Look how I've changed.

For lack of a better place to put this...

"As friends, as human beings, we all try to do the best we can. But the world is full of unexpected twists and turns. And just when you've gotten the lay of the land, the ground underneath you shifts and knocks you off your feet. If you're lucky, you'll end up with nothing more than a flesh wound, something a bandaid will cover. But, some wounds are deeper than they first appear, and require more than just a quick fix. With some wounds, you have to rip off the bandaid, let them breathe and give them time to heal."
-Grey's Anatomy-

I got Erich's stupid cold, too. Spending the rest of the day taking over the couch with comfort food and movies.

my valentine sent me a dozen roses and he didn't even have to. i would have been his valentine, anyway.

big trouble = me

i'm delirious cause i'm writing a paper for com and it sucks and my brain is fried but i just got an awesome text message and all it says is, "Miss you."

i'm going to boston next weekend. is that crazy?